This is expression but not creative expression, it is an expression of a lack~ Yes “A lack of Faith!”
To be of and in faith ~ your master soul will sorely test you.
This seemed testing is a throwing of the gauntlet, a dare to accept more of the truth of your essence.
To step up!
The more evolved the soul, oft’ the more dour the testing.
A shaking of your faith very much like an emotional earth quake!
After each tremor you right your being in alignment with all that is; as you realign more wholly to the source, there is a dynamic of strengthening.
A forging of your spirit in the furnace of life!
This is not as in surviving, but in a thriving a flourishing of.
You are now deeply into this process of righting!
Trusting in this is in itself a strengthening of Faith.
You need no further question your motives the why too and wherefores.
Just reestablish equilibrium, you and only you, know what measures this shall take.
If it means at that you spend time reclusively hiding away from external chaos that is fine.
When you are freed from external disruption you can become aware of your internal disruption; there are times when all need to experience this quieted space to level their beingness to synchronize to the vibration of source.
As in the aftermath of a cyclone, clearing and rebuilding will take place; but if your home was battered and laid bare by a cyclone, the wise being would rethink the design of their new structure. Would they not? Yes they would rebuild, but in constructing their new home they would aim to make it resistant as possible to further cyclones.
So in fact this is what is taking place right now; throwing yourself into frenzied activity is not the answer.
You are rethinking your structure!
This does not mean you are not of love.
True love is not always an outwardly display or manifestation of lovingness.
Just as not all creativity is an outward display of art; your greatest masterpiece is you!
The beauty on the inside, the kindness of thought, the depth of compassion, may not be visible to all, but that does not mean they are not being polished and honed to perfection!
There is a time and a season for all things; this is the rhythmic cycle of all human existence.
The wheel turns, with each turn there is another cycle of existence.
People speak of past lives but in fact each turn of the wheel is a past life; a turn might be a lifetime, a month, or merely within a breath.
Awakening is not in fact as many assume, one great yawn and one is wide awake!
It is myriad of sleep, sleeping and awakenings from each dream.
You actually are dreaming yourself awake!
Each time the eyes are shocked open you are reinvented afresh renewed.
How wondrously glorious this is.
Is this not true creativity?
So in doubting yourself, the questioning of in critical judgment of how you should be in the world, who you should be, how you should appear, what you should or should not have done or do is indeed an expression of lack.
This is the antithesis of the creative force, not the leaving aside of a paintbrush.
You as a human have endured immense trials and tribulations; would you be so unkind to a friend who had undergone extensive physical surgery?
So see this time as a time of recuperation from extensive soul surgery.
Your heart is being blasted, exquisitely burst open; let say a quadruple bypass to your wisdom heart.
It is fine and all will be well, be the peace.
Rest and abide in me.